More
factoids
from the seething cauldron of Alex Jones's mind!
from the seething cauldron of Alex Jones's mind!
Alex Jones has a
fertile imagination!
To say the least! Here are still more facts that only Alex Jones & his followers know:
Hillary Clinton is a neocon. (Duh. Could Alex define "neocon"? Could he define "liberal"?)
Arnold Schwartzenegger is going to stage a fake rescue of some school children. (Another of Alex's countless false predictions.)
Arnold Schwartzenegger is part of an Austrian plot to take over America.
They're putting cancer viruses in the vaccines...& openly announcing it. (Though only Alex Jones can find these reports.)
The voting-machine companies are "openly run" by the CIA. (& here you thought the CIA did not "openly" do anything.)
The National Seatbelt Initiative is a secret government plot to train you to be a slave. (Wow! Alex has not explained how this plot works.)
The rulers of the nation worship Moloch. (Alex's evidence for this seems to be a fuzzy video of the Bohemian Grove show, in which the name "Moloch" is never mentioned. Don't forget, Alex Jones is the smartest person in the world.)
The dispersal of weapons of death (guns) throughout our society will make for a safer society. (In this, Alex & the Patriots are in full agreement with America's Neo-Nazis, Klansmen, White Supremacists, White Separatis& anti-Semites. That's some pretty strange bedfellows, big guy...)
There are no real terrorists, except at the Mexican border. (Alex thinks all terrorists are government agents, except for the border with Mexico, where there are suddenly all these real terrorists threatening to come in. Conspiracy guys are too dumb to see their self-contradictions.)
The Northwoods Document was the "official plan" for 9-11. (& here you thought it was just a bizarre historical curiosity.)
All right-wing disinformation is always true. (Alex swallows right-wing disinformation like it was ice cream. Any lie about a Democrat will be endlessly repeated. Alex may be an agent for the Republican Party.)
Most Americans believe 9-11 was an inside job by the government. (Actually, only a few wingnuts believe this. Alex misread a Zogby poll. Remember: Alex Jones misreads everything.)
Bill Clinton brought off Oklahoma City to raise his approval ratings. (I woulda waited for election time! Like all right-wing scumbags Alex likes to slander Bill Clinton. Any good American knows Alex Jones is not fit to lick Bill Clinton's boots.)
You can't be a police officer if your IQ is over 100. (Like all the "Patriots," Alex is basically a cop-hater.)
Most major police chiefs are CIA operatives. (Source of all this information completely unknown.)
In 30 states, they sterilized children who got less than a B- in grade school. (Conspiracy guys! It's hard to believe people this dumb even walk the earth, isn't it?)
There's a big media blitz to get you to accept microchips. (A blitz I'm missing somehow.)
The evil rulers of the world have not been able to take out Alex's cable show, which has been spilling the beans on the ongoing takeover for almost a decade.
If their
reflexes are that slow,
should we fear them at all?
should we fear them at all?