Nothing is true

ANTI-GOVERNMENT BIGOTS!

The government is behind EVERYTHING!?
Gimme a break!

The New World Order guys tend to believe everything is a government plot, & the government is behind everything.  This makes them anti-government bigots who spend their lives blaming innocent people for things they didn't do.  That's a good way to waste your life, it seems to me.

Actually, there are as many different "New World Order theories" as there are angry white guys with IQ's in the mid-80's to make them up. 

They can't all be right...right?
They can't all be right (& they're probably
all wrong), but never mind.

Some conspiracists believe the Illuminati are shape-changing reptilian lizards from another dimension (David Icke).  Some believe the evil conspirators put up websites where they tell you everything they're going to do (Alex Jones).  That's how Alex can predict the future, by the way.  Other conspiracy dudes believe the bad guys are beaming thoughts into us from antennas (some guy I talked to).

New World Order conspiracy buffs are not all strongly political.  Some see a UFO connection.  There are websites where they show you the UFO that momentarily materialized right at the moment the jets struck the Towers on 9-11.  Far out!

The more political guys, such as my fellow Austinite Alex Jones, definitely share the core belief that everything is a government plot, & the government is behind everything.

Conspiracy guys have no trouble believing this unlikely proposition.

It therefore follows that:
power outages are government set-ups!
bad weather is a government plot (they control it, you see)!
all the world's war are government conspiracies!
thumb-scanners at grocery stores are part of the plot (diabolical)!
environmental movement is part of the plot (the fools!)
the anarchist movement is definitely involved in the conspiracy!
all terrorists are government agents!
economic upturns & downturns alike are caused by government conspiracy (that only these guys know about)!
The Beatles were part of the plot (some guys really say this!)!  Yoko's role uncertain.
The airline pilots who died on 9-11 were part of the plot!
Children's cartoons are in on it!
Vaccines are part of the plot!
Tollroads are part of the plot!
Drugs are just a trick the government is playing on you--you stupid, stupid people!
Sports are part of a government conspiracy, I tell you!
Movies contain messages planted by the government...that only these guys can see!
Microchips...you guessed it!
The death of any famous person is obviously part of a secret government conspiracy!
Waco was part of the plot, though no one will explain why!
Crime, natch--the government is behind all crime.  I thought you knew that...

How's that for a "one size fits all" philosophy?  One thing explains everything, you see?  How elegant!

& no one on earth can figure it out...except these AWGWIQITME*'s!

They're just anti-government bigots.
Face it, these guys are nuts.  They're just
anti-government bigots.















*angry white guys with IQ's in the mid-80's